Kodigo

Labing-limang letra, mula A hanggang D. Ito ang laman ng kapirasong intermediate pad na iniabot kay Willie ng classmate niyang nakaupo sa likuran. Hindi siya tanga, alam niya kung ano ito. Tiningnan niya ang bond paper na nasa desk niya, 15 na tanong, multiple choice, 1st part ng quarterly exam.

Pero hindi niya kailangan to. Consistent top 1 si Willie mula 1st year hanggang 3rd year, pero dahil sa iskandalong ginawa ng Nanay niya noong March, tinanggal siya sa Section 1. At ngayon nga, nasa lower section na siya, mas kumpiyansya siya na makukuha niya ang top 1, lalo na't mas mahina ang kompetisyon dito.

Tiningnan niya ulit ang papel, tiningnan ang likuran nito, walang nakasulat. Tumingin siya sa Teacher, nasa pintuan ito, nakikipag-tsismisan sa isa pang guro. Dahan-dahan siyang tumingin sa likuran, isang payat na lalake na may maluwang na uniform ang nag-abot sa kanya ng papel. Nakalimutan niya ang pangalan ng kaklase niyang ito, pero alam niya nakakausap niya to. Ipinapaabot yata ang papel para sa babaeng nasa 2nd row. Tiningnan niya ulit ang papel at ikinumpara sa sariling test paper, sabay ngiti sa sarili.

Isinukbit ni Willie ang papel sa bulsa ng polo niya at bumalik sa pagsagot ng sariling test paper, nasa 3rd part na siya ng exam, true or false. Matapos ang ilang sandali, narinig niyang sinisitsitan ng babaeng nasa 2nd row ang lalake sa likuran niya, tumingin siya sa pinto, lumabas na pala ang teacher nila hindi niya napansin. Tumingin siya sa kaklase, "Asan na?" ang basa niya sa bibig nito na kausap ang lalake sa likuran niya.

"Inabot ko na." ang mahinang sigaw ng lalake sa likuran ni Willie. Nang puntong yun, tiningnan na siya ng dalawang kaklase na nag-uusap. Iniwasan niya ang tingin ng dalawa at bumalik sa pagsasagot ng test paper.

Mula sa gilid ng paningin niya, nakita n'yang tumayo ang babae sa 2nd row at payukong lumapit sa pwesto ng lalake sa likuran. "Asan na?" Muling tanong ng dalaga.

"Inabot ko sa kanya", sagot ng lalake sa likuran niya.

"Classmate, yung inabot niyang papel kanina?" tanong sa kanya ng babae.

Tiningnan niya ang kaklase na nakayuko na sa tabi ng kanyang armchair. Kilala niya ang babaeng to, pero di gaya ng iba niyang classmate na ka-close niya, kilala lang niya to sa pangalan at mukha. Siya si Grace, ang dati niyang crush.

Second year pa lang siya nang una niyang nakita si Grace. Flag ceremony noon, at siya ang dalagang napili para mag-beat ng Pambansang Awit. Gandang-ganda siya noon kay Grace. Morena, mahaba ang buhok, pahaba ang mukha, matangos ang ilong na pang-mestisa, may kalaparan ang bibig at may malaking nunal sa ibabaw ng labi na parang kay Lorna Tolentino. Mula noon, palagi na niya siyang napapansing kumakain sa canteen, nakatambay sa quadrangle o naglalakad sa hallway, at sa tuwing nakakasalubong niya ito, napupuno ng paru-paro ang sikmura niya.

Hanggang sa nag-fourth year siya, at nalipat sa lower section at naging mag-classmate sila ni Grace. Dito niya nalaman na madaldal pala ito, maingay, tamad mag-aral at palaging nakikipag-harutan sa mga lalake. Nawala ang pagkagusto niya sa dalaga, nawala ang mga paru-paro. Ibang-ibang siya sa imahe ng Grace na binuo niya sa isipan niya.

"Aling papel?" tanong ni Willie sa dalaga, "yung kodigo n'yo?"

"Hindi yun kodigo", depensa ni Grace, "Scratch paper lang yun. Dali na classmate, please..."

"Gumamit ka na lang ng ibang scratch paper."

"Hindi p'wede, may ano yun, lucky charm ko yun. Oo, lucky charm ko yung papel na yun." palusot ng dalaga.

Sumulyap sa pintuan si Willie at bumalik sa pagsasagot ng test paper.

"Dali na classmate, akin na yung papel, please... ang pog-pogi mo pa naman, wag kang ganyan, kailangan ko yun, sige na, aanhin mo ba yun? Dali na, please..." ang pagmamakaawa ng dalaga.

Natawa si Willie sa loob-loob niya. Hindi 'pogi' ang salitang karaniwang binabato para i-describe siya. Nanay nga niya, bihira lang yun gamitin sa kanya. Maitim, pango, malaki ang panga, at tadtad ng tigyawat. Sila Bobby Andrews o Polo Ravales, sila ang guwapo, at ilang milya ang layo ng itsura nila sa kanya.

Nagmatigas pa rin ang binata kahit binola na ng kausap. "Hindi p'wede, isusumbong ko kayo kay Ma'am, sige..." banta niya.  Napansin ni Willie na tumingin si Grace sa bulsa ng polo niya, inabangan niya kung huhugutin ba nito ang papel sa bulsa niya, pero hindi iyon ang nangyari. Tumalikod ang dalaga, at akmang babalik na sa silya nito. Pinagmasdan niya ang likuran nito, pero nang akala niyang tapos na ang pangungulit nito, bigla itong humarap sa kanya at hinalikan siya sa labi.

Napatigil si Willie sa nangyari, naramdaman niyang bumulusok ang dugo niya papunta sa kanyang pisngi, nagbalik ang mga paru-paro, at bumagal ang oras. Sa isang kisapmata, nakita niya ng malapitan ang mukha ng dati niyang crush. Nakapikit ito, at malapad ang noo dulot ng pagkakalapit sa kanya. Dumilat ang dalaga at nakita niyang naging apat ang mga mata nito, para siyang nahihilo na ewan. Hindi niya namalayan na bumitaw na pala sa pagkakahalik si Grace, ilang minuto na ba ang lumipas?

Pero sa kabila ng lutang na pakiramdam, napansin pa rin niya ang pagdukot ni Grace sa bulsa ng kanyang polo. Agad niyang hinablot ang kamay nito, at inagaw ang kapiraso ng papel. Napahinto ang dalaga, halu-halo ang inis, disappointment at pagkahiya sa mukha nito. Inantay niya kung papalag pa ang kaharap, pero padabog na lang itong bumalik sa kanyang silya.

Sakto naman ang pasok ng kanilang guro, na nagulat sa nadatnan sa classroom. 45 na estudyante, lalake at babae, ang gulat na gulat na nakatingin kay Willie.

"Bakit? Anong nangyari?" pagtatakang tanong ng guro. "Tapos ka na ba Willie?" Nagsibalikan na sa pagsasagot ang mga classmate nila.

"Yes Ma'am", biglang sagot ni Willie. Mabilis siyang bumalik sa test paper at dali-daling sinagutan ang huling tatlong tanong: true, true, false. Titiklupin na sana niya ang test paper, pero napahinto siya sandali. Matapos siguruhin na hindi nakatingin ang teacher, mabilis niyang tinuklap ang nakatuping piraso ng papel, inekisan ang ilang letra at sinulatan ng panibagong mga letra sa ibabaw. Muli niyang itiniklop ang papel, kasabay ng test paper. Tumayo siya papunta sa mesa ng guro, pero pagdaan sa second row, pasimple niyang hinulog ang papel, na agad namang napansin ni Grace.

Pinulot ng dalaga ang papel, patagong binuksan, at napangiti.

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The Caterpillar and the Moth (A Fable)

Once there was a moth who fell in love with a caterpillar. It was the moment they met, and the feeling, though not foreign to the Moth, was instantaneous. The Moth began to get close to the Caterpillar until they became good friends.

Each day, during sunset, the Moth would perch along the branches of the tree where the Caterpillar lives. The two would then talk for hours, until they both realize its midnight. The Moth would share stories of its adventures, beyond the forest, above the clouds, across the river. The Caterpillar would be fascinated with these stories, and it too will share stories of it's own: how it hides from the birds that rest among its tree's branches, how it watches the small animals that rest below the tree's shade and the other insects that flutter around.

"Oh, how I envy you my friend the Moth", the Caterpillar said one day, "You fly from tree to tree, branch to branch. You can see the world from above, you can go wherever you want to go, while I linger here at my branch all day."

"Have no worries," answered the Moth, someday, you too would be able fly, all caterpillars do."

The next day, wanting to cheer up its friend, the Moth brought with it an unusual Singing Leaf. "You let the wind pass through this leaf's little holes, and it will sing." it said, and the Caterpillar was happy.

On another day, the rain was pouring down hard on the forest, so the two insects hid under the covers of the thick leaves of the tree. The Caterpillar saw it's own reflection on the silver rain drops that covered the branches of the tree and cried "Oh I'm so fat and ugly. How will I able to fly when I'm so big and heavy."

The Moth objected, "Everyone is as beautiful as they believe they are. I believe you are beautiful, and so should you." And when the rain stopped, the Moth called upon its friends, the Fireflies with their glowing tails, and they danced around the tree. And the Caterpillar was happy.

One day, the Caterpillar grew terribly ill, to the point that it couldn't move no longer. "Am I dying? I don't want to die yet, there are many things I still want to do. I still want to fly, to cross the river, to dance and-"

"No, " interrupted the Moth, "you are not going to die. I'll never let that happen."

"Please don't leave me alone,"said the Caterpillar, crying.

"I won't. I'll be here."

"Thank you. Thank you so much. You have been so good to me. I've always thought I was alone, like I have no friends. I just sit here on my branch, eating trees, avoiding the birds, and watching all the creatures below, they are so happy, and everything is so beautiful, except for me. Until you came, and you became my friend. You have been so nice to me, and I never felt alone anymore."

"That is because I love you. I had always loved you." said the Moth.

"You do?" asked the Caterpillar. "I am so grateful, " and the Caterpillar was happy and they both fell asleep.

The next day, the Moth was shocked as it saw the Caterpillar trapped inside a leafy webbed enclosure, just below its branch. The Moth tried to open the leaf, but the insect is not strong enough. It shouted, and called for its friend inside, but there was no reply.

So the Moth returned each day, and the enclosure would turn harder and harder. But the Moth remained beside its friend all the time, leaving only to eat and hide from the birds.

Until one day, the Moth noticed the enclosure change its color. The poor insect recognized the Caterpillar, trapped inside. He watched and waited, as the casing slowly opened up, until finally the Caterpillar emerged, with its own set of wings.

"You're back!" the Moth shouted in excitement, "and you have wings, and you are more beautiful than ever. I'm so glad that you're not harmed." and the Moth went closer to the Caterpillar.

But the insect backed away, "who are you?" it asked.

"Its me, your friend. I have waited for you to come out of that thing, and now here you are."

"I'm sorry, but I don't remember you, you must have mistaken me for someone else."

"No, I know it's you, look at me. Try to remember. Remember the last words I told you, how I love you so much." the Moth attempted to come nearer and nearer to the Caterpillar but it just pushed the former away.

"Get back! Don't come near me, go away, I don't know you! You're so ugly, go away!" And the Caterpillar spread its wings, and flew up above the branches, above the tree, beyond the clouds. And it was beautiful, and the Moth couldn't help but wonder how something so beautiful and amazing could cause so much pain.

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Gracenote's First Movement

Gracenote's First Movement makes a lasting movement.

I am a fan of Gracenote. Their music is reminiscent of the 90's pop-rock that I grew up with, combined with punkish-rock elements. They're not too heavy, and not too pop either, they're at the middle, and that's why rockers from both spectrum can enjoy their sound.

The Gracenote, from left to right Alvin Ortiz (who, sadly, already
departed the band), Chen Pangan, Eunice Jorge, Jazz Jorge and EJ Pichay

First Movement, I believe, is their second album. The first one, self-titled Gracenote, was released independently some time in 2009. Since then, they have come a long way and their music evolved. Three years ago you might have dared call them a Paramore knock-off, but now they are Gracenote.

First Movement consists of 8 tracks, the last one being an acoustic version of their current single, Amnesia. Kicking off the album is Knock Knock, written by the band's lead vocalist herself, Eunice Jorge. This track is an instant favorite of mine. The upbeat pop intro is very different from their previous songs, the lyrics are campy, but it complements the melody very well, making it a fun and feel good song, one that can lift you up when feeling depressed.

Gracenote rocking the elevators of APC
in their music video of Minsan lang Naman

The track is followed by a mellow one, Pwede Ako which can easily becomes a "harana" song, for the hopeless-romantics out there. Then there's their newest single, Amnesia, written by their band manager Darwin Hernandez. Eunice shows off her talents with the melodramatic violin intro, but I was instantly blown away by Jazz's bass and Ej's drum beats (imagine Silent Sanctuary). The lyrics are catchy, and the guitar riff after the chorus blends well with the violin. If not for Knock Knock, I would say Universal Records made an excellent choice for a second single. 

The fourth track is a sad song, titled Far Away. I have heard it many times on Youtube, but this is the first time I heard a studio version. What I like about this song is the violin riff all through out. (and seeing Eunice Jorge perform this song while playing the violin adds power to this heart-wrenching song). Listen to the lyrics well and you will know that Chen Pangan (seriously, is she related to the Jett Pangan?) would make a very amazing song-writer someday.

Ms. Violin Girl Eunice Jorge shows off her talents at DLSU-Taft

After crying (yes I did) a lot from the last song, Minsan Lang Naman lifts up the air with the usual pop-rock melody we've all come to love. It was the band's first single and their first song to have a music video. (which was shot at -and produced by- APC). It was a good song, but very similar (except for the violin) to the rest of the pop-rock songs playing on the radio. If it were me, I would have chosen Knock Knock as their first single. 

The fifth song then pulls us back down to mellowness with Play it Again. With its playful guitars, it reminds me of the Barbie Almabis days of acoustic rock. Then before the album ends with the acoustic rendition of Amnesia, we are treated with the party-esque Stop Stop! It's a nice distraction from the rest of the sounds of their album, but I am hearing some chunks of autotune, and I'm not a fan of this method. (I'm not sure here, maybe it's just me, so don't stone me to death).

That's me, with my own copy of First Movement
fresh from the music stands.

All in all, their album is great, and working under Universal Records and Soupstar, I am having my hopes up that they will continue to grow and cover more grounds. The mainstream radios now are filled with foreign R and B and K-pop songs, that's why it makes me happy to hear bands like Gracenote making waves despite the bandwagon. So if you're looking for music that is familiar yet new, grab a copy of their album now.


You can check out Gracenote on their Facebook page and Twitter accounts. You can also visit their Youtube channel for more videos (they have a lot of funny vids) and updates.

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Meantime Boy

He is the one you call when you have a fight with your Boss for not finishing that Monthly Financial report. The person you consult to when your crush suddenly starts flirting with you. He is the one you send a message on Facebook when everyone else is asleep or busy on a Thursday night. He is the one you text when you're feeling sad. And he never fails to cheer you up because he always texts back with some inspiring and uplifting advice, or maybe some sarcastic one-liners.

Mind you, he is not gay, he's as straight as the the pole where they hoist the Philippine flag every Monday morning. He's considered 'one of the girls', some one who is not afraid to hang out with a bunch of ladies sipping coffee at a Starbucks down at Bonifacio High Street. He's perfectly confident with his masculinity, yet he's not afraid to use that obscure Beki language when talking with you.

Whenever you find it hard to take down one last bite of that double cheeseburger you ordered at McDonald's, you can damn be sure he'll finish it. When your PC breaks, all you need to do is to text him and he'll head straight to your house, ready to reformat that aging machine of yours. Maybe he'll bring some donuts from Dunkin' or burritos from Mexicali. Then you'll eat while he's setting up your Wi-Fi at home, then talk about the hell of a week you had in your office.

But he is not your boyfriend, and will never be, even though every people you come across asks you if he's your boyfriend and you just casually wave your hand and say that he's not, while laughing out loud. For you, he is just a friend, a bestfriend, a bro, a buddy. You can never imagine yourself dating him, though technically, you've been spending every Saturday night having a date with him at a Chinese Dimsum house in Binondo ever since you've been close. You can never imagine being with him, because you're with him almost every day.

You know that he likes you, yet you deny it to yourself. You turn yourself blind from the sweet text messages he sends you every night. You're deaf from all the caring and comforting words he gives you. Heck, he might have confessed to you, but you turned him down. You can't understand how someone like him could ever like you or love you more than a friend. How can he when he sees you inside out, when he knows you well enough to know that you went to the bathroom that time you replied late on Skype, when he hears you fart and burp and squeal like a little rat. How can he, when he already saw how ugly you are after just waking up.

Yet, the two of you go on, and on, and on, as if the both of you know nothing about each other's feelings. This will continue until you finally meet someone with the face of Coco Martin and the abs of Derek Ramsey. The three of you will start to hang out, until he can't take it anymore and so he makes up an elaborate excuse why he can't join you in watching Avengers. So you and the new guy will start dating, and having sex, until you finally forget to ask him to hang out with you.

But he will do nothing. He'll accept the situation openly, and won't feel bitter about it. He'll get hurt, but you'll never know. He'll cry but he'll never show the tears. He will never tell you how kind of a jerk the new guy is because honestly he has no idea, and he has full trust on the choices that you make. Yes, he'll still text you, and ask how your day was, so you remind yourself to text him back before you go to sleep, but you won't.

Then the usual happens, and the new guy breaks up with you. You will run back to him, crying and screaming, and he'll offer his shoulder for you. He will listen to you rant about how come you can't find 'the one' and how all guys are the same. He won't blame you, because he knows you've suffered enough. He won't talk shit about the old new guy because he doesn't know him well to judge him or his intentions.

Then the two of you will return to your usual routine. You will stop feeling sad about your recent break up, you won't miss having a boyfriend because you have him for the meantime. You will hold his hand, you will rest your head on his shoulders when you're feeling tired while riding the MRT, and he will hug you when you're about to cry. He will give you everything you want, and he won't ask for anything in return. He won't expect, he won't wait, he doesn't mind, not at all. You can continue searching for your 'the one', your Mr. Right, and he can continue on being the only man on the world who can truly love and accept you for who you are. He is your meantime boy.

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The Girl With a Hidden Smile

I met a girl with a hidden smile

Her face is covered with scowl all day

And forlorn eyes that stares from a mile

But I saw bright colors beyond the grey

Her body's a smile, each motion a grin

Her hands are laughter, one stroke is glee

Her soft silent voice full of bliss within

She's always alone, but never lonely

She'll hide her smile, her joy may not show

But she's the happiest girl I've come to know






Apologies for the art. I used it without permission. Hopefully, the girl with a hidden smile won't get mad at me.

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Train (part 3)

"Mag try-out ka sa varsity"

"Ha?"

"Si Sir Romualdez ang coach ng Badminton team natin, mag-try out ka sa kanya, magaling ka."

Nag-blush ang pisngi ni Kristine sa sinabi ng binata, at nagtawanan ang lahat ng matamaan ito ng shuttlecock sa noo.

Nag-uusap sila Kiko at PJ nang pumasok ang tatlong dalagang ito sa USG office, nanghihiram ng mga raketa. Isa ito sa mga project ng grupo, kung saan Vice President si PJ. At kahit busy, kita pa rin ng peripheral vision niya ang mga ito.

Matinik sa mga babae itong si PJ, palibhasa'y tisoy at guwapo. Matangkad, matangos ang ilong, chinito ang mga mata, bilugan ang mukha, at may isang pares ng dimples sa pisngi. Kilala sa pagiging ladies' man, lahat ng babaeng matipuhan niya, siguradong nakukuha niya. At ngayon nga, nakita niya ang sunod niyang prospect.

Naghintay siya na makaalis ang mga babae bago kimulos ang binata.

"Ahh, Kiks", sambit nito sa kaibigan pagkatayo, "usap na lang tayo ulit mamaya."

"Ha?" litong tanong ng kaibigan.

"Hindi mo nakita yun? Mga chickas pare."

"Hoy, mga first year lang yun PJ", harang ni Cas, ang officer na nakipag-usap sa mga dalaga.

"Come on my dear, parang 'di mo ko kilala. You know age doesn't matter", sagot ni PJ dito, "On second thought Kiks, bakit 'di ka sumama sa kin? Tara! Alam mo, kapag babae ang problema, babae rin ang solusyon!" balik nito kay Kiko.

"Alam mo namang pass na ko d'yan pre... bagong buhay na ko, si Cheska na lang ang..."

"At tingnan mo ang nangyari sa pagbabagong buhay mo! Kung ako sa 'yo, tumayo ka, and explooore the world. Ang dami-daming isda sa ka..." tumigil sandali para isipin ang karugtong ng salita, "karagatan!"

Iling lang ang sinagot sa kanya ng kaibigan.

"Ok fine, bahala ka. Brood all day." Kinuha ni PJ ang bag niya saka lumakad papuntang pinto. "Wait lang, Cassie, bago tayo magkalimutan," ibinuka ng binata ang palad sa tapat ni Cas. "Reg form."

"Hindi." Matigas na sagot ng dalaga.

"C'mon Cassie, alam mo naman makukuha ko rin yan, why make it harder? Course lang nila, and their schedule. And address." Sabay flash ng dimples niyang makalaglag underwear.

"Pag sinabi kong hindi, hindi!! Wag mong isipin na dahil guwapo ka makukuha mo na lahat ng gusto mo. At kahit magpa-cute ka pa sa kin, wala nang epekto yan dahil tapos na ko sa 'yo! Okey? Kung gusto mong mang-hunting ng chicks, bahala ka, pero 'di kita tutulungan."

"Cassie..." sabay lapit ni PJ sa dalaga, habang ini-stretch out ang palad nito sa pisngi niya. Na caught-off guard ang kausap at napatigil sandali, pinipilit itago ang blush na namumuo sa pisngi, at pilit pinipigilan magtagpo ang mga mata nila. Isang eye contact lang, isang eye contact lang at bibigay na siya.

"Hindi! And don't call me Cassie. It's Cassandra. Tseh! Layas, layas, lumayo ka sa 'kin!" ang pagtataboy niya kay PJ. Ang tumawa na lang ang nagawa ni PJ habang binubuksan niya ang pinto ng USG office. You may deny it, but your eyes won't lie.


Saktong pagbukas niya ng pinto ay nasa labas at akmang papasok ang isa pang officer.

"Louie! Sakto ang dating mo, you're exactly what I need."

"Ha?" Litong sagot ni Louie na walang kalam-alam sa nangyayari.

Umatras sandali si PJ at kumuha ng isang raketa mula sa shelf ng mga sports equipment na pinapahiram ng opisina. "Kailangan ko ng wingman, at sakto ang dating mo."

"Teka, may gagawin pa 'ko.."

"Makakapaghintay yan! Eto, dalhin mo to", iniabot ni PJ ang raketa sa bagong dating at inakay ito palabas ng kuwarto.

Hindi nahirapan si PJ na hanapin ang mga babae. Iilang spot lang sa eskwela ang suitable para paglaruan ng Badminton, lalo na't wala silang proper court para dito. (At kung may nakaset-up man, ginagamit yun ng mag nagpi-PE o ng varsity team) Sa likod ng building ng College of Science niya nakitang naglalaro ang mga ito. Malilim ang parteng ito pagdating ng ganitong oras, kaya maraming tumatambay. Sa gitna ng daanan naglalaro ang dalawa sa tatlong dalaga; yung isa maputi, kulot ang buhok at balingkinitan ang katawan, kalaban niya ang isang morena, pango at tigyawating dalaga. Sinipat niyang maigi ang dalawa, This one is good. Mukhang varsity player. The other one... wala! Probably taga-COS, or taga-CAFA (College of Fine Arts), hindi ko sila nakikita sa Eng building. Pero asan yung isa... Inikot ni PJ ang tingin at nakita niya ang pangatlong dalaga, nakaupo sa mesa sa isa sa mga shed na tambayan ng mga estudyante kapag walang klase. Masaya itong nanonood at nakiki-cheer sa dalawang naglalaban. Sa itsura at ayos niya, hindi pa siya nakakalaro at pinauna muna ang dalawa. Pandalawahang laro nga naman ang badminton.

Lumapit si PJ, sa dalaga, hatak-hatak si Louie at pumuwesto ilang dangkal sa tabi nito. Inilapag ang bag sa mesa at umaktong nanonood. Maya-maya pa, nagsalita na siya. "Mag try-out ka sa varsity", sigaw niya sa maputing dalaga na naglalaro. Nilingon siya ng tatlong dalaga. Tumingin siya kay Andrea sa kaliwa at nginitian ito. Sinagot naman siya nito ng isang awkward na ngiti, sabay tawa ng tamaan ng shuttlecock ang kaibigan sa noo. "Magaling tong kaibigan mo ah. Varsity siya nung High School no?"

"Yata..." alangang sagot ng dalaga, na tumingin muna sa kanya para siguraduhin na siya nga ang kinakausap.

"Yung grip niya, tsaka yung footwork niya. Eh ikaw?"

"Ako? Hindi... larong kalye lang alam ko."

"Weh? Bakit di ka sumali sa kanila?"

"Mamaya, pagkatapos ni Ram." turo ni Andrea sa morenang dalaga na kalaro ni Kristine.

"Bakit di tayo mag-doubles?"

"Ha?"

Nilingon ni PJ si Louie at tinuro ang raketang bitbit nito sa likod. "Raketa ba yan?"

"Oo." Sagot ni Louie.

"Pahiram muna." Inabot ni Louie ang raketa kay PJ, "tara, sabihin mo sa mga kaibigan mo doubles tayo."

"Ha? Sige.." nilabas ni Andrea ang raketang dala mula sa lalagyan nito at tinawag ang mga kaibigan. "Kristine! Doubles daw, kasama si P... siya, si kuya... kuya USG"

"PJ." Iniabot ng binata ang kamay para makipag-shake hands.

"Andrea. Kayo yung nag-orient sa 'min nung isang araw, 'di ba?"

"Yup. Anong courses niyo?"

"Com-Ed kaming tatlo. Si Kristine, tsaka si Ramelyn." Humahagikgik na lumipat si Ram sa kabilang side, at di naitago sa paningin ni PJ at pagkagat nito sa labi at pagrolyo ng eyeballs sa ibabaw ng mata. Habang di pa rin natatanggal ang blush sa pisngi ni Kristine habang pangiting kinakaskas ang mga ngipin. Jackpot ka PJ, jackpot ka!

to be continued...

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Torpe Complex

My old friend, Ranz, suggested that I should just blog my torment. I told her I could try but I couldn't think of anything to write in spite of the emotional stress I'm facing. Then I heard a familiar song from Eraserheads, so here it is.


Torpe Complex

   Weather. Maybe I should ask about the weather. No, too cliche. No, no, no, I should think of another topic. God, why do I always find it hard to talk to her? I mean, I'm a loud-mouth. In school, when I'm with my friends, I never run out of topics to discuss. But with her...
   Quite a funny weather, isn't it?
   Huh?
   The weather. Earlier this morning its cloudy and gloomy, but now its freaking hot.
   Yeah, I noticed that too. Its the middle of October and its as sunny as a fried egg.
   Oh good, good, its working. Small talk, I finally did it. We've been walking for minutes and we only shared 'uh huh' and 'oh'. Now, from that topic, maybe I should expand or..
   Its the global warming kicking in.
   Huh?
   Oh shit, its my voice, its so low, she can't hear me, what the hell is wrong with me?! I always speak loud when I'm drinking out or having fun with my friends. But now I can't even utter a word without repeating it.
   I mean, its because of the Global warming, that's why the weather has been pretty messed up lately....
   Ohh, yeah, the Global warming.
   Oh Jesus, I'm boring her. Of course she doesn't want to talk about Global warming, I'm a fucking idiot.
   Huh?
   Ha? Oh, nothing...
   Okay, okay, its not too late yet. We still have a couple of yards ahead of us before we reach the LRT station.  I can still think of another way to talk with her...
   Mrs. Sanchez is a  little unfair earlier, don't you think?
   My goodness, she's talking to me. She's talking to me, finally! I must think of the right answer to keep this conversation rolling...
   A little, I guess...
   I mean, the exam wasn't even in her lecture. And then, I reviewed my notes all night and none of it even appeared on the test. Its so unfair.
   Is she unfair? I don't know, I kind of figured out what the test is gonna be. She gave us the name of the books she made as reference for the lectures. I happened to buy some of it at Recto, then read some pages. The exam is pretty easy actually. No, no, I shouldn't disagree with her.
   Yeah, she is a little unfair. 
   You think so? I don't believe you. I bet you'll gonna ace this test. You're always the highest in our exams, you're very intelligent.
   Oh, shit, she's mocking me. What should I say...
   No, no, I'm not, I'm just... I'm just what? I'm just what? I'm just what? Come on! lucky. I guess...
   Lucky, you say? Well, I guess I should stick around you a little often, might be your luck will rub off with me.
   Ha ha ha! Or you should sit beside me during exams..
   Yeah, and peek at your paper when I don't know the answer.
   Ha ha ha!
   Ha ha ha!
   Good, we're laughing. I'm making her laugh, she's so beautiful when she laughs... If only I can stroke her cheeks.. that would be heaven. And brush her long dark hair and... and God, those eyes, those pretty brown eyes... I could melt with just one look from those... and her nose, its a little stubby, yes, but it looks good with her. I couldn't imagine her with any other nose. And her buck teeth, I love her buck teeth. Its so cute she's like a rabbit. A pretty little bunny...
   What?
   Huh?
   Is there something wrong, you're.. you're staring at me
   Ah, no, its just... Come on, come on, come on!! What am I gonna say? your.. your teeth, I just noticed.
Oh, yeah,  I know, its ugly...
   Yeah... I mean, no..
   When I was young, I was stubborn. I was afraid to pull my tooth off, so the new one grew in front... that's why I'm so ugly.
   No, I don't think you're ugly..
   You're lying.
   I'm not. I think you're.. you're very... Come on, say it, say it, say it!!! beautiful.
   You think.
   No, no, no, I'm making her upset.. what should I say? What should I say...
   Well, beauty is subjective, right? We have different views about...
   Oh, we're here already. Ok, so I'll be up the station.
   Alright. Oh shit, she's mad at me.
   Bye.
   Bye. Thanks for letting me walk with you... And she's gone. Oh God, now she's mad at me. What did I say wrong!?! I'm a walking disaster. I should just hang myself. Why!?!?!?!

---

   Think of anything. Anything. I don't want him to think that I'm a boring person. I've been dreaming of this moment for like, days, and now I'm here, I can't do it right. Why?
   Quite a funny weather, isn't it?
   Yes! He finally spoke. Ok, ok, I should think of something to say about the weather. Ok, so its sunny.. but what's funny with being sunny?
   Huh?
   The weather. Earlier this morning its cloudy and gloomy, but now its freaking hot.
   Oh yes. When I went off from the house I almost thought its gonna rain. I even tripped returning home because I forgot my umbrella. Oh wait, no, I should not say that, he might think I'm clumsy and careless.
   Yeah, I noticed that too. Its the middle of October and its as sunny as a fried egg. Egg? Egg?!? I'm comparing the weather with an egg? Nooo. He'll think I'm stupid.
   Its the global warming kicking in.
   The global warming. Yes, the global warming... ice caps are melting, there's a hole in the ozone layer, that's Global warming, right?
   Huh?
   I mean, its because of the Global warming, that's why the weather has been pretty messed up lately....
   I should say something about Global warming. Something. Anything. He'll think I'm an idiot who has no concern for the environment. But what?! I'm not even sure what Global warming is. I mean, I've heard about it, I've seen it on National Geographic but I haven't really paid attention...
   Ohh, yeah, the Global warming.
   That's it? 'Oh yeah, the Global warming'? I'm such an
   Idiot.
   Huh?
   Nooo! Now he thinks I'm an idiot. The man I've been dreaming about now thinks I'm an idiot. What am I gonna do?
   Ha? Oh, nothing...
   Maybe I should just run off at the middle of the street so that some random truck would hit me, then I'll be dead and its all done... No, no, no. He might laugh at me if I do that. Then he'll tell his friends 'you know, our stupid classmate yesterday was ran over by a truck because she crossed the street without looking.' And then, they'll laugh at me. Yeah, laugh, he always laughs loud at school, when he's talking with his friends. But now, he's not even talking to me. Does that mean he doesn't like me? He's not enjoying my company? What am I gonna do? He's the only guy I like. I've been dreaming about him since first year. And now, we're here together, walking, and he doesn't even wanna talk to me. I should think of something.
   Mrs. Sanchez is a  little unfair earlier, don't you think?
   Our exam, right, our exam. Although I don't think he'll agree with me. He's the best in our class, he always gets the highest score in all our tests.
   A little, I guess...
   I mean, the exam wasn't even in her lecture. And then, I reviewed my notes all night and none of it even appeared on the test. Its so unfair.
   Why did I say that? Why did I say that? Now, he'll think I'm ranting, and that I'm good at nothing but complain. He'll think I'm just some clumsy, stupid, whiny girl.
   Yeah, she is a little unfair. 
   Yes, he's a nice guy. He's not like one of those jerks, he won't say I'm clumsy, stupid and whiny. Not in front of me though.
   You think so? I don't believe you. I bet you'll gonna ace this test. You're always the highest in our exams, you're very intelligent.
   Wrong again! Why? Why am I saying the wrong things?! Now he'll figure out that I like him. And then he wont talk to me anymore, might be he'll think I'm a stalker and he'll move school and we'll never see each other again.
   No, no, I'm not, I'm just.. lucky. I guess...
   Lucky, you say? Well, I guess I should stick around you a little often, might be your luck will rub off with me.
   My mouth! My stupid little mouth! Now he'll think I'm some clingy girl who wants nothing but stick around with him. Boys don't like clingy girls.
   Ha ha ha! Or you should sit beside me during exams..
   Yeah, and peek at your paper when I don't know the answer.
   Why!?!? Why is this happening to me!? Now he'll think I'm a cheater. He'll think I'll only sit beside him so I can copy his answers.
   Ha ha ha!
   He's laughing. He's laughing at me...
   Ha ha ha!
   I'm gonna die. I think I'm going to die.
   Its all ruined. There's nothing I can do anymore. What am I thinking? Oh no, he's looking at me, he's staring at me. Oh no, my cheeks are so oily, I didn't had time to retouch. And my hair, it's a mess, with all the tangles and split ends. My eyes, my nose, my teeth, they're so ugly. Especially my teeth. I shouldn't open my mouth.
   What?
   Huh?
   Is there something wrong, you're.. you're staring at me with those pretty little squinty eyes. If you only know how much I'm melting from the inside right now.
   Ah, no, its just... your.. your teeth, I just noticed.
   I knew it. He's looking at my teeth.
   Oh, yeah,  I know, its ugly...
   Yeah... I mean, no..
   He thinks I'm ugly. There's no chance he's gonna like me now.
   When I was young, I was stubborn. I was afraid to pull my tooth off, so the new one grew in front... that's why I'm so ugly.
   No use explaining it, he still thinks I'm ugly. And I'm stubborn when I was a kid.
   No, I don't think you're ugly..
   You're lying.
   I'm not. I think you're.. you're very...beautiful.
   He hesitated. He's just being nice. Of course he's being nice. He's a gentleman. He wouldn't say I'm ugly in front of me.
   You think.
   Well, beauty is subjective, right? We have different views about...
   Its no use. He thinks I'm ugly. And he wouldn't talk to me anymore. I guess, I should just..
   Oh, we're here already. Ok, so I'll be up the station.
   Alright.
   Bye.
   Bye.
   My dream guy. He's gone. No more. I'm forever alone.

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Train (cont)

"Siya yun."

"Sino?"

"Yang papasok", sinenyasan ni Armand ang babaeng kaibigan para tingnan ang estudyanteng pumapasok sa front entrance ng eskwela.

"Yung kinuwento ko sa 'yo", tiningnan ni Armand ang kausap, kinukunot ang kilay, kinukumbinse na alam dapat nito ang tinutukoy niya.

"Ah", gets na ng kausap.

"Ganda 'di ba?" Tumingin si Armand, sa kaibigan, nakataas ang dalawang kilay, hinihintay na may sasabihin itong maganda.

Sinipat naman ng kausap ang dalagang tinutukoy, habang pinapakita nito ang ID sa guard na nakabantay sa pintuan. "Ok lang. Maputi."

"Sus, di ka marunong tumingin," dismayado si Armand sa reaksyon ng kaibigan, muli siyang tumingin sa babaeng tinutukoy. Naglalakad na ito at papunta sa direksyon nila. "Hello Kristine!" Lumingon ang babae kay Armand, na hindi inaasahang may tatawag sa kanya. "Naalala mo pa ko?" Tiningnan siya nito sa mukha, "noong nag-enroll ka..."

Unang nakita ni Armand si Kristine noong araw na nag-enroll ito sa TUP. Nagtrabaho ang binata noon sa eskwela bilang SA (Student Assistant), kaya nang nag-enroll ang dalaga, tiyempong siya ang nasa Admissions, at siya ang nag-handle ng mga papeles nito.

Katamtaman ang tangkad at kulot ang buhok ni Kristine. Malapad ang mga balikat, at may kalakihan ng kaunti ang mga braso at hita. Simple lang ang mukha, may pagka-pango ang ilong at may mga bakas ng tigyawat sa pisngi. Pero kahit hindi ganoon kagandahan, pansinin pa rin siya dahil sa mala-gatas na kutis. Kumukuha siya ng kursong Computer Education, hindi naman masyadong matalino, pero masipag mag-aral, at sa batak niyang katawan makikitang may pagkahilig siya sa sports. Tahimik pero palakaibigan, mahiyain pero masayang kausap.

Unang kita pa lang ni Armand kay Kristine eh tinamaan na agad ito. Love at first sight? Ewan lang natin. Nang nagpasa ng High School report card ang dalaga, itinabi agad ito ni Armand. Tinanong niya ang pangalan at nakipagkwentuhan siya dito habang naghihintay na ma-process ang admission. Pagkaalis ng dalaga, kinopya agad ni Armand ang address ng bahay, cellphone number at e-mail address mula sa form na ipinasa nito. Stalker? Malamang.

"Ah, kuya ano..." Pilit inaalala ni Kristine ang pangalan ng lalaking bumati sa kanya.

"Armand."

"Kuya Armand. Ayun.."

"Kumusta naman ang first week?" May 3 meters din ang agwat ng magkausap, pero feel na feel ni Armand ang batian nila, na halos isinisigaw na niya ang bawat salita, kahit pa maraming nagdaraang panay ang harang sa kanilang dalawa.

"Ok lang", sabay ngiti.

Nag-isip si Armand ng isasagot - o itatanong. Gusto pa niyang pahabain ang conversation pero naba-blanko ang utak niya. Magtanong kaya ako tungkol sa lesson? Hindi, magkaiba kami ng course. Kung nakatulog siya ng mahimbing kagabi? Hindi, ang creepy nun. May boyfriend ka na ba? Hindi, masyadong presko. Pwede ka bang ligawan? Ang bilis masyado. Isip, Armand, isip.

"Sige kuya, punta na ko sa klase. Late na ko."

Wala nang nasabi si Armand. Boo! Ngumiti na lang siya at naglakad na palayo si Kristine. Sinundan niya ito ng tingin hanggang sa mawala ito sa crowd ng mga estudyanteng may kanya-kanyang business nang araw na yun.

Nilingon ni Armand ang kaibigan na nakaupo sa gilid ng pasilyo nang may ngiti sa mukha na abot hanggang tainga. "Masaya ka na niyan?" tanong nito.

"Kinausap niya ko... Cheska, kinausap niya ko!?!" ang di makapaniwalang sigaw ng binata.

"Oo, nakita ko, adik." Naupo si Armand sa tabi ng kaibigan, hindi pa rin naaalis ang bungisngis na naka-super glue sa mukha nito.

First year pa lang magkaibigan na sila Cheska at Armand, pareho sila ng kurso na Computer Science. Matalino tong si Armand, Dean's lister, . Hindi masyadong katangkaran, kulay tsokolate ang balat, balot ng tigyawat sa noo, at may makakapal na salamin na dulot ng myopia. "I think I'm in love." Bulalas ni Armand habang nakatitig sa bakanteng ispasyo sa pagitan ng kisame at ng mural sa pader na nasa harap nila.

"Palagi naman eh. Basta nginitian at kinausap ka, in love ka na kaagad. Hindi yan laro, ok?" Sagot ni Cheska habang nilalabas ang kikay kit nito.

"At nagsalita ang wagas magmahal. Speaking of wagas, ano nangyari sa inyo ni Gob?"

"Wala na kami. Mission accomplished." Sabay bukas sa foundation.

"Ooops, you did it again. Hindi ka ba nagsasawa?"

"Nagsawa, kaya nga ko nakipag-break eh."

"Ang ibig kong sabihin..." ina-assemble ni Armand ang mga tamang salita sa bibig, oo itinuturing nila na kaibigang matalik ang isa't-isa, pero ayaw naman niyang masaktan ang dalaga. Medyo sensitive din 'to pagdating sa usapang puso. "Nakailang boyfriend ka na? Ever since?"

Saglit tinigil ni Cheska ang paglalagay ng blush on sa mukha at tumingin sa kausap. "Lahat-lahat? O yung seryoso lang?" hindi na siya naghintay ng sagot, "ewan, sampu? Ay hindi... eleven... pang-twelve si Francis."

"Kitam, ilang taon ka na? 18? 19? Samantalang ako no girlfriend since birth."

"So anong point mo? Malandi ako, ganun?"

"Hindi..." kinunot ni Armand ang noo at tumingin saglit sa kisame, sabay balik ng mata kay Cheska, "Oo. Konti. Gets mo naman ako 'di ba? Hindi ka ba nagsasawa na ganyan, labas-pasok ka sa relasyon..."

Napatigil si Cheska sa sinabi ng kaibigan. Tiniklop ang foundation, niligpit ang ibang gamit at binalik sa bag. Naglabas ng hair-brush at aktong susuklayin ang buhok pero hindi itinuloy. Tahimik namang nag-aabang si Armand ng reaksyon. "Tara na, akyat na tayo."

Alam na ni Armand. Pag ganitong sitwasyon, hindi na dapat siya magsasalita. Dinampot na lamang niya ang bag at sinundan ang kaibigan paakyat ng hagdan.


***

"Pa-upo", bulong ni Andrea sa kaklase.

Inatras ng kaunti ni Kristine ang armchair para makadaan ang dalaga. Umupo ito sa tabi niya. "Anong nangyari sa 'yo?" Nagsimula na magsalita ang Propesor nila kaya binabaan lamang ng dalawa ang kanilang mga boses.

"Mahabang kwento."

Hindi ugali ni Andrea ang ma-late, sinisigurado niyang palagi siyang maaga magising. Pero hindi naging mabait itong umaga. Nagising siya mula sa putol-putol ang tulog -na dala na rin ng pamamahay- sa isang bagong bahay. Napagdesisyunan ng Nanay niya na sa bahay ng Ninang niya siya manunuluyan hanggang maka-graduate. Ok lang sana, kung hindi lang sa isang maliit na problema: ito rin ang bahay ng kababata niyang si Kiko.

Nang umagang yon, nagsasangag si Andrea ng hindi niya napansing bumaba si Kiko. "Timpla mo nga kong kape." Nilingon ng dalaga ang binata. Nakaupo ito sa may dining table, nakahampas ang likod sa silya, tulala ang mata at may tuyong laway sa pisngi. Saglit tiningnan ni Andrea ang kababata, nag-iisip ng sasabihin. Nang hindi siya pinansin nito, nagtungo siya sa cabinet sa tabi ng refrigerator at kinuha ang garapon ng kape, asukal at isang sachet ng creamer. Sa ibabaw ng cabinet, kumuha siya ng tasa mula sa lagayan ng plato, isang kutsarita. Inilapag niya ito sa dining table, sa kabilang kabisera ni Kiko, sa tabi ng thermos.

"Paanong timpla ang gusto mo?" Nag-aalangang tanong ni Andrea. Hindi umimik si Kiko. Nakatitig ito sa bakanteng espasyo na ibabaw ng kalan. Ilang sandali pa, nagtimpla na ang dalaga ng kape. Iniabot niya ito sa binata, at nang hindi pa rin ito umimik, bumalik sa pagluluto. "Hintayin, mo na lang tong kanin, may ulam na d'yan."

"Si Mommy?"

Sa wakas, nagsalita din si Kiko. Pinatay ni Andrea ang kalan, iniangat ang kawali gamit ang pot holder. "Maaga siya umalis. Alas-siyete daw yung flight niya."

"Ay putek, oo nga pala, ngayon nga pala alis niya. Bakit 'di niyo ko ginising?"

"Ginigising ka namin kanina, kaso, tulog na tulog ka eh."

Mabilis na tinungga ni Kiko ang kape nito, balewala ang init. "Ang tabang", sabay tayo, "anong pangalan mo ulit?"

Ikinagulat ni Andrea ang tinuran ng kababata. Hindi niya ko naalala? "Andrea." Nang walang sagot ang binata, nagpatuloy pa siya, "hindi mo ba ko... naalala?"

Tumigil si Kiko sa paglalakad, sinipat si Andrea mula ulo hanggang paa, sabay sagot, "Ha?" pumasok ng kuwarto ang binata, at lumabas din agad na may dala-dalang t-shirt. "Plantsahin mo nga 'to."

Nabigla si Andrea sa sinambit ng kababata. Hindi mo ko katulong. Pero mas maigi nang isara na lang niya ang bibig niya. Nakikitira lang siya kina Kiko, kaya trabaho niya ang tumulong sa mga gawaing bahay. Masama ang gising niya, o baka bad trip lang. Lasing siya kagabi, hang-over lang to. Baka may mabigat siyang problema. Tinitigan niya ng masama ang lalaki, pero hindi siya napansin nito.

Tahimik lang sila nang umagang yun. hindi alam ni Andrea ang sasabihin, at mukha namang walang balak makipag-usap sa kanya si Kiko. Pagkatapos kumain ng binata, dumiretso na ito sa banyo upang maligo, habang tinatapos ni Andrea ang pinaplantsang damit nito nang may pagkainis dahil alam niyang male-late na siya sa klase. Pagkatapos magplantsa, ini-hanger niya ang t-shirt sa gilid ng aparador, at umalis nang hindi nagpapaalam.

Naglalakad na magkaakay sila Andrea sa walkway nang hatakin si Kristine ng isa nilang kaklase. "Sumama ka sa 'min dali." patiling aya ni Ramelyn.

"Saan?", tanong ni Kristine.

"Naalala mo yung type mong taga Engineering? Guess what, Senator pala siya ng USG," paliwanag ni Ramelyn habang kinakaladkad ang magkaibigan.

"Hoy, hindi ko yun crush no, ikaw may gusto dun eh."

"Charing, wag ka na nga mag-deny. Hay naku, basta, sumama ka sa 'kin. Pupunta tayo ng USG office tapos kunwari manghihiram tayo ng raketa ng badminton."

"Raketa?"

"Oo, nagpapahiram sila ng mga badminton, bola, mga sports chenes na yan. USG project ata. Iiwan lang natin yung reg. form natin. O 'di ba, bongga ng plano ko 'di ba?"

"Hay naku Ram, ang landi mo.." pabirong sabad ni Kristine.

"Alam ko yan, teh. If I know gusto mo ring masilayan ang kanyang faceness ever. Ha ha ha! Tara na, dali!"

Mabilis na naglakad ang tatlo papuntang USG office na nasa dulo ng eskwelahan. Kumatok sila sa loob, sumilip sa pinto, at pinapasok ng isang officer.

Katumbas ng isang room ang opisina ng USG. Nakatayo ang tatlo sa tapat ng pintuan, magkakaakay ang mga braso. Nilibot ni Andrea ang paningin sa kuwarto; may anim na tao sa opisina, yung babaeng nagpapasok sa kanila ang kumuha sa log book na nakapatong sa side table sa malayong sulok ng silid. May dalawang babae na nasa kabilang panig ng mababang divider. Sa maliit na sofa, nakaupo ang isang di pamilyar na babae, kausap ang dalawang lalaki na nakaupo sa mahabang sofa sa may coffee table. Isa sa dalawang lalaking yun ang Senator na tinutukoy ni Ramelyn, ang isa naman ay si... Shit! Oo nga pala, dito nga rin pala siya nag-aaral. Bakit nakalimutan ko yun? Ang tanga ko!


Napahigpit ang hawak ni Andrea kay Kristine, at bumulong siya sa kaibigan. "Si Kiko."

to be continued...

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Ang Gitara

You'll see I'm crazy for you, touch me once and you'll know it's true, I never wanted anyone like this, its so brand new, you'll feel it in my kiss, I'm crazy for you...

Magta-tatlong buwan na ring nakapatong ang gitarang iyon sa kanyang mesa, ina-alikabok na nga at kinakalawang na ang mga kwerdas, may ngatngat na rin ng daga ang liigan nito, at may bahagyang lamat sa likuran nang minsang nahulog ito sa sahig. Ang dati nitong makintab na kulay ay unti-unti na ring nangungupas, marahil nga ay hindi na ito makakalikha pa ng magagandang awitin, sa itsura pa lamang ay mukhang wala na ito sa tono. Lagot! Siguradong magagalit nito si Anthony, lalo na kapag nalaman niyang pinababayaan ni Rona ang kanyang gitara.

May tatlong buwan na rin mula ng huling hawakan ni Tony ang gitarang ito. Tumugtog siya ng magandang awitin, na sinabayan naman ni Rona ng magandang tinig. Isang napakagandang rendisyon ang kanilang nilikha, ngunit ngayon ay hindi ko na naririnig pang inaawit nila Tony ang kantang ito. Marahil ay nakalimutan ni Rona ang titik, o baka naman si Tony ang nakalimot ng tono, hindi ko sigurado. Ang sigurado ko lang ay tatlong buwan na ang nakalilipas, umawit si Rona ng ibang awitin, bagay na ikinabahala ni Tony. Mula noon ay hindi na siya nakikitang tumutungo sa bahay na iyan, mula noon ay wala nang tumutugtog sa gitarang yaon.

Pagkatapos nga noon ay iniwan na lang ni Rona ang gitara sa ibabaw ng mesa, wala na yata siyang balak na alisin ito doon. Binalak ni Rona na ilipat ito ng lalagyan ngunit nahulog lamang ito sa sahig, kaya’t muli niyang ibinalik sa mesa. Isa itong napakagandang gitara- noon. Noong sila Tony at Rona ay masaya pang lumalabas. Noong naghahawakan pa sila ng kamay. Noong hinahagkan pa nila ang isa’t-isa. Noong pareho nilang pinananabikan ang kanilang mga halik. Noong tuwing gabi’y pumupunta si Tony sa bahay na iyan upang tugtugin ang kanyang gitarang ipinaingat kay Rona, at buong magdamag ay pupunuuin nila ang gabi ng matatamis na awitin. Sayang nga at napabayaan na ang gitarang ito ngayon.

Ngunit hindi rin natin maaaring sisihin si Tony, marahil ay nasaktan siya sa ginawa ni Rona, kaya’t sukat ng iwanan niya ang gitarang iyon. Sayang ang gitara. Sayang.

Hinayaan lang ni Rona ang gitara na nabubulok sa ibabaw ng mesa, nakapagtataka nga sapagkat maaari naman niya itong itapon. Marahil ay nasa isipan pa rin niya ang masasayang sandali nila ni Tony, o marahil ay umaasa pa siyang balang araw ay babalik ito, kahit papaano’y babalik si Tony upang muling tugtugin ang gitara. Hindi man magkagayon ay babalik pa rin siya kahit para lang bawiin ang gitara. Kapag mangyari iyon ay marahil ikatutuwa na ni Rona. Sino ba namang hindi matutuwang makita muli ang iyong pinakamamahal?

Ngunit sa tingin ko ay hindi na babalik si Tony. Sa tingin ko lang.

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